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Parenting Through a Busy Holiday Season
Quality Time
At Operation Parent, we spend a lot of time talking about how to navigate the hard parts of parenting. We want parents to feel equipped to handle the heavy topics, have the hard conversations, and be prepared when difficult situations arise. But in the midst of all that preparation, there’s another part of parenting that we don’t want to lose sight of: enjoying the work of being a parent.
Parent burnout is real. From the energy of young children to the challenges of the teen years, there are seasons when it can feel easier to just simply get through the day. And sometimes, getting through the day is all we have the energy to do. Add the busyness of the holiday season, and it can be easy to rush right through the moments we’re working so hard to remember.
But parenting is more than just getting through the hard days. There is so much joy to be found in the everyday moments of raising our kids. The laughter, the inside jokes, the hugs, the conversations in the car, the things they say that make you smile, and the little moments you wish you could bottle up and keep forever. The holidays bring even more chances to notice these moments.
Our kids can feel the difference when we enjoy parenthood. This doesn’t mean we have to be joyful every second of the day. Parenting is hard work, and some days are just plain hard. But when we make it a priority to notice the good, celebrate the little parenting wins, and enjoy who our children are, we create a childhood filled with more than rules, responsibilities, and hard conversations. We create memories. We create connection. And we create joy at home.
Talking about burnout can feel strange because no parent wants to admit they’re tired, overwhelmed, or just trying to make it to bedtime. But admitting we’re struggling isn’t failure. It gives us a chance to pause and remember why we started this journey of parenthood in the first place.
So, especially during this holiday season, take a breath. Look at your kids. Think about what you’re grateful for. Think about the things you love about them. Notice the moments that warm your heart. Let yourself enjoy them. And remember, you set the tone for your home.
Joy doesn’t mean parenting is always easy
We want to make one thing clear. Joy doesn’t mean your kids are perfect, you’re the perfect parent and nothing ever goes wrong. That’s fantasy, and just not how real life works! You can deeply love your kids and still feel exhausted. You can be grateful and still have difficult days. You can lose your patience, need a break, and wonder if you’re doing any of this right.
Joy in parenting isn’t pretending everything is wonderful all the time. It’s learning to notice the good, meaningful, funny, beautiful moments even in the middle of the hard. It’s reminding yourself again and again, I GET to do this.
I GET to be their parent.
I GET to watch them grow and be part of their story.
It’s being able to look around at the messy house, the loud kids, a busy holiday schedule, and the never-ending to-do list and think “This is hard, but this is also the joy of my life.”
It won’t always be easy. But pouring into our kiddos, leading, guiding, and protecting them as they grow is meaningful work. Slow down and recognize what a gift it is.
Training our hearts and minds
We often think about training our kids. Teaching them manners, how to handle their emotions, how to clean up after themselves, etc. But we also have an opportunity to train ourselves. We can train our own hearts and minds to see parenting differently.
The thoughts we repeat to ourselves reflect how we show up for our kids. When we intentionally shape our thoughts and perspective, it can change the way we think, speak, and act towards those around us.
We can practice thoughts like:
- “I don’t have to rush through this.”
- “My child is still learning, not trying to make my life hard.”
- “My child isn’t trying to give me a hard time. They’re having a hard time.”
- “I want to remember this, not just get through it.”
- “I am so grateful I get to be their mom/dad/caregiver.”
- “I get to help shape their childhood.”
So, what does this look like in real life?
In the middle of a hard moment or when you’re rushing to get through the day, pause and notice what’s going on in your mind. Then, choose to change your perspective. Pick one of the thoughts above (or come up with one of your own) and repeat it to yourself right there in that moment. Say it in your head. Better yet, say it out loud.
I don’t have to rush through this.
My child is still learning, and I get to teach them.
I’m so grateful I get to be their parent.
It will probably feel awkward at first. And it won’t change everything overnight. Training our hearts and minds takes practice. But over time, the way we think can begin to shape the way we respond. We can learn to slow down, look for the good, and remind ourselves of what a gift it is to be the ones who get to walk alongside our children as they grow.
We’re not just training our kids. We’re training ourselves to love the work of parenting too.
Make room for what fills your cup
As parents and caregivers, we spend so much time making sure our kids’ cups are full, often times we neglect to fill our own. And during the holidays, that can be especially true. There are meals to plan, gifts to buy, events to attend and a whole lot of people that need something from us.
And yes, meeting our children’s physical, emotional, and mental needs is incredibly important. We want to raise healthy, resilient kids. But we also need to ensure we have enough in our cups to pour into our families’.
So, as the holiday season starts up, take a minute to think back to hobbies or passions you had before kids. Maybe you loved exercising, playing music, baking, gardening, reading, playing a sport, or just being outdoors. What is something you did simply because it brought you joy?
Make time for some of that again.
That can be hard in some parenting seasons, especially when the holidays already feel full. We may not have the same time or freedom we had before kids. But one of the sweetest things about being a parent is we can invite our kids into the things we love.
Go for a family walk to look at Christmas lights. Play a sport in the backyard. Play music or teach your kid an instrument as you decorate the house together. Bake your favorite holiday treat with your child. Find a holiday tradition that brings you joy and let your children be part of it.
It doesn’t need to take much time. Don’t add more to the holiday to-do list. Just make some room for what fills you up. And when your kids see you enjoying the things you love, they get to see you as a person who knows how to find joy too.
You are part of your family. You get to experience the holidays too. Don’t spend so much time creating the memories that you forget to be part of them.
“The greatest gift you can give your child is your own happiness.” -Unknown
Remember, this is their childhood.
This is something we can so easily forget in the middle of busy days. In the middle of all the chaos, don’t forget this is their childhood.
The days you’re living in right now are the days your child will one day look back on. The bedtime routines, the family dinners, the holiday traditions, and the ordinary afternoons at home are all part of their story. Just don’t lose sight of that: the everyday moments are part of the childhood we’re helping to create.
You won’t always be in this phase of parenting. Time is fleeting. Don’t miss all the good stuff that’s happening while you’re busy getting through it.
Look for ways to enjoy your kids, not just care for their needs.
Parenting requires a lot of work. We feed them, clean up after them, help with homework, manage schedules, and make sure they have everything they need for extracurricular activities, all while setting boundaries and teaching them to navigate the world. So much of our time is spent doing things for our kids; sometimes we can forget to simply enjoy being with them.
Make room for the fun parts too. Our kids are more than just the responsibilities that come with raising them. They are people we get to know, love, and enjoy as we watch them grow. Don’t let the hard work of caring for your child crowd out the joy of knowing them.
Choose connection over distractions.
One of the biggest challenges of parenting in our modern world is being truly present. Not just physically present, but putting our phones down and giving our family our full attention. This is so important. When we do this, we send a powerful message: You matter. I want to hear what you have to say, and you are worth my attention.
Our kids need to know they are a priority, not another thing competing for our attention. We can’t be fully present every minute of the day, but we can be intentional about setting aside distraction-free time to talk to and spend time with our kids when we can.
When we set aside distractions and truly enjoy time with our kids, we notice more of the little things that make them who they are. We can be more present in the moment and find greater joy in the everyday work.
Find joy in the little things.
Practice noticing the good. Celebrate a small win. Enjoy a conversation in the car. Find something to laugh about at the end of a long day. During the holidays, pause to enjoy the excitement on your child’s face or a new family tradition.
You can even ask yourself, “what did I enjoy about my kids today?” Taking time to notice these things will help us train our minds to look for the good.
The more we practice looking for the joy in parenting, the more we can learn to recognize it in the middle of everyday life.
A simple holiday challenge
This holiday season, be intentional about slowing down, enjoying your kids, and training your heart and mind.
- Pick one of the thoughts above to repeat to yourself when you’re having a hard moment.
- Practice setting aside your phone for a while and be fully present with your kids.
- Make time for one thing that fills your cup.
- Join in on the holiday fun and pause to appreciate a moment you may usually rush right past.
- Ask yourself at the end of a long day “What did I enjoy about my kids today?”
Training your heart and mind takes time, and these small steps won’t change everything overnight. But as you practice them each day, you may find yourself becoming a more present, joyful parent. And your kids may notice the difference too.
You don’t have to make parenting perfect to find joy in it.
Especially during the busy holiday season, let’s make room for gratitude. Let’s slow down long enough to notice the good that is already right in front of us. Let’s find ways to reignite the joy of parenting by being present for the moments we’re currently living in.
Because we don’t want to just help parents get through parenthood. Your child gets one childhood, and you get one opportunity to walk alongside them through it. So, let’s slow down, be present, and treasure the moments along the way.
Sources:
The Resilient Parent Initiative. Science of Happiness: How to Ensure Parenthood Fills You With Joy and Not Misery.
Operation Parent.
Fulfillment Therapy. Balancing Act: How to Enjoy Parenthood Without Losing Yourself.
https://fulfillmenttherapy.org/blog/b/episode-187
Mayo Clinic. Positive Thinking: Stop Negative Self-Talk to Reduce Stress.
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